MarkiBird

This darling daughter of mine turned 24 yesterday.  She has been through a lot of living in her short 24 years.  Last night at a celebratory birthday dinner, we went around the table and each of us told Markelle something that we love about her:  her kindness, compassion, passion for life, creativity, and love for all.  She related an experience she had with a homeless person that came into her shop this past week, and to me it perfectly illustrated how her heart is with the downhearted and downtrodden.  She has an understanding and empathy for people that I still am working on developing.  She feels things so deeply.  I love and admire this beautiful young woman!

2015, the year of miracles

2015 is coming to a close and it will go down as one of those really hard years that I am so grateful we went through.  We have had a lot of changes and growing pains in our family this year, and a lot of miracles.  Last Christmas and the beginning of January was an incredible difficult time for our family.  On January 28th, I drove my husband down to a substance abuse treatment program in Payson, UT.  I went to the family processing meetings every week for five months while my husband fought his way back to sobriety and a new sense of spirituality and self that includes fighting for his sobriety every day.  Every day is a new day to be clean and sober.  Every day could be the day he relapses, but not today.  Today he is sober, and it is a gift and a miracle.  Our daughter, Ashley is sober and safe today, and that is a gift and a miracle.  Steve is in school to learn and train to be a substance abuse counselor, Ashley is in school to be a massage therapist, and I am in school to be a nurse.  I find it interesting that all of our paths are taking us in the direction of touching lives and healing.  Our daughter Markelle went through hard challenges in her marriages which ended in a divorce.  She is safe and it is a gift and a miracle.  Kelsey and Covey welcomed Hyrum Covey Cole into their family on May 1st.  He is perfect in every way and he is a gift and a miracle.  Madi and Adam moved in with us a few months back and Adam has been busy preparing for Medical School.  He took the MCAT in April and passed with an incredible score and has been invited to interview with three schools, one of them here in Utah.  That is a gift and a miracle. Madi has been on her on personal journey and finding her way in life.  She is a gift and a miracle to me.  I love my husband, my children, my family...despite, or maybe because of, the hard things we have been through together, we are a gift and a miracle. 

Weber State University Nursing School

In the summer of 2014 I took a big and bold step in my life:  I signed up for university courses at Weber State University.  I always had a plan in the back of my mind to return to school after my kids were grown and finish what I started back in the 1990's.  With my few credits from BYU and an AS degree from LDS Business College, I was ready to jump into a Bachelor's program.  The real question was which one?  My heart has always been with all things literature and so I assumed that when I did return to school, it would be to pursue an English Major.  Nursing was never on the horizon or radar for me.  But when I randomly took a CNA course with my daughter Madi a few years ago and began work at a local assisted living, I  discovered something I never knew about myself, and that is that I love helping and serving older people.  I was not ready, however, to give up on my dream for an English degree, so in the summer of 2014 I signed up for a Biomedical Core class (required for nursing) and an upper division English class.  It was both scary and exhilarating to be back in the classroom and learning new and--for me--deep and complicated concepts.  I look back at those classes now and how far I have come and it is exciting for me to know that I am capable, I am smart, I can do this!  There was a time, especially once I decided on a nursing degree verses an English major, that I doubted and wondered if I was doing the right thing.  Was I cut out for nursing? The day I got my letter in the mail stating that I had earned a spot in the highly competitive School of Nursing (SON) at Weber was a moment of triumph and gratitude.  I have felt that this is something I need to do.  Since then I have added Microbiology, Chemistry, and Pathophysiology as well as a semester of Nursing classes to my record.  What about the English degree?  Well, I figured out a way to earn an English minor along with a nursing degree, so I have also added more English courses to my school transcripts as well! It's truly an exciting time in my life and I am so grateful for the opportunity to learn and stretch my abilities and capabilities. 

Hyrum

On April 30, 2015 at 7:30 MST, Steve and I received a text from Covey that brought reality to my heart and tears to my eyes:  "Contractions have started!  We'll keep you posted."  I said a prayer for my daughter and soon-to-be-born grandson and cried some more.  I made the hour long drive from Payson back to our home in North Salt Lake, and again, more tears and prayers for Kelsey, Covey, and their baby.  I never realized until this moment that my heart would be so tied up in knots, worried for the safety of so many that I loved dearly.  I realized then that I had to turn their safety and well-being over to God.  He is the one in whom I wholly trust.  I went to bed that night with my phone next to my bed, thinking to myself that I will hear from Covey or Kelsey sometime during the following day.  As I got ready for bed, I once again knelt in prayer and my thoughts turned to Kelsey and the sacred work she was doing at that very moment.  I drifted off to sleep, knowing that the wait to meet my new grandchild was almost over.  I awoke from a deep sleep at 11:30 p.m. by the "ding" of my phone, indicating a message had come through.  As I leaned over to the night stand and picked up my phone, there was the most glorious picture greeting me:  My darling, radiant daughter, holding her straight-from-heaven son, and they were both so beautiful that my heart burst.  Hyrum Covey Cole, born at 1:08 EST, safe and chubby at 7 lb 8 oz, 21.5 inches long.  So amazing, this miracle we call life.

The Family is of God

This song keeps playing over and over in my mind, thanks to the Primary program last Sunday:

God gave us families to help us
become what He wants us to be--
This is how He shares His love, for the
family is of God

I love this message.  And I love my family...they are awesome, every last one of them!

At the Core

I found a journal entry today that I wrote about Steve back in 1989, and I love that this is at the Core of who he is:

"Steve is the type of person that is every body's friend--no matter how rich or poor, beautiful or ugly, smart or not so smart.  He has learned the secret of how to make everyone feel important, no matter what anyone else might think about that person.  I really admire Steve and all of his little "philosophies" of life.  When we first got married, I was still very immature in my way of thinking (don't get me wrong--I am still not fully mature now, just a little more so!!)  I let things, such as what people think about me, bother me.  I can remember many times where Steve has had to literally talk me out of a depressed mood.  There is one very accurate description of what Steve represents in my life--he is my anchor.  I depend on him in so many ways--emotional, spiritual, and financial support.  I  would like to think that we help each other in the areas that we are weak in.  Sometimes Steve has to be the strong one and sometimes I am the one that has to point out the positive side.  I sincerely believe that we are the perfect compliment for each other."

I ended the entry by writing:

"Probably the most important thing about our relationship and marriage is that we were, and are, best friends first.  We may not always feel romantic, or lovey-dovey, or special, but we both know that no matter what horrible thing we have done wrong, we can each count on the other to be there and that they will still love us."

Wow!  20 plus years and 4 kids later and the things that life has thrown at us, I read this with tears in my eyes knowing that we are solid TO THE CORE.  I love this man, and I am so very proud of him and his accomplishments and courage, his loyalty and support.  He continues to be that man that is a friend to everyone, and he encourages me and each of our girls to be the best people we can be. Thank you, Steve!  I'm grateful that I'm yours and you are mine, FOREVER.

The Men in our Family

I love this picture that my friend, Shauna, took of Madam.  This young man takes such good care of my daughter.  He is very solicitous of her and her needs, and that is one of the many things I appreciate and love about him.  When I think of my other sons-in-law, I could say the same thing about them.  The men in each of my daughters' lives take really good care of them.  They each serve their wife with a kind and open heart. Hmmm, sounds like the man I married....

The Ash's

This is Ashley with her date for the Christmas dance, Asher.  I call her Ash for short a lot of the times, and when I was chauffeuring these two around, it got a little confusing of who I was speaking to. Doesn't she look beautiful?

Another One Bites the Dust....

Madam is Engaged!!

I have loved her for 19 plus years, and I have loved him for about five.  I absolutely love them together!    Congratulations Madi and Adam!

Gratitude, Sponsored by RRR

I have much to be thankful for, I know that and I often lay awake at night listing my blessings.  On Friday night, as I lay in a sleeping bag under the pavillion of an LDS church in Newcastle, Utah with a bunch of strangers and listened to the thunder and rain, I once again found myself making a mental list of my blessings.  I'm grateful for a healthy body that can run and stay up for all hours when called upon.  I am grateful to share fun adventures with my darling daughters. I am grateful that my girls love and support each other and have a lot of fun memories that they laugh about. I am grateful to live in a beautiful world that has stunning scenery such as Cedar Breaks and the red rock of Southern Utah.  I am grateful for shelter, and a place to rest my weary body, even if it's for a couple of hours. I am grateful for warm showers, or a slip and slid at the end of an epic adventure.  I am grateful for opportunities to push ourselves physically and mentally, and to overcome hard things.  I am grateful that my children have a grandpa that is active and tough and inspiring. I am grateful that my youngest daughter could spend quality time with her grandma while I was gone for the weekend. I am grateful for technology that helped us capture and share these memories with a husband who is having his own epic journey on the other side of the country.  I am grateful for a heart that is at peace and knows that everything will work out.

The Mordue 1/2 of Run, Walk, Crawl: Tahir, Markelle, Karen, Mads, Kelsey, and Dandad

My Beautiful and Strong girls!

Markelle's Hubby at his finest, always so positive and HAPPY!

The Inspiration of our team, Dandad Mordue, age 74

Bringing in Kelsey on her last leg, finishing strong after a gruelling 7.5 miles

Mostly still smiling with only one leg left to go to the finish!

Waiting for Tahir to hand off to me to finish the last 3.7 miles

RED ROCK RELAY, peace out and we will be back!

Summer ReCap

This has been a very interesting and event-filled summer for me, and the Mordue household in general.  When we were in May and looking ahead at the next three months, there was a lot of uncertainty.  As a planner, that is very hard for me to live with.  However, life has forced me to truly live the mantra of "God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to Know the Difference."  Here's what I can change:  I can change my reaction to things that are hard, frightening, new, different.  With that in mind, I jumped into training and participating in the Ragnar Wasatch Back, with a great group of people, including my very studly--yet quiet--brother Matt.  He is a runner on a whole different level than I am.  He runs 100 milers and thinks nothing of running from the trail head to the top of King's Peak and back down again for a training run.  We had a great van of athletes and this was one of my favorite Ragnar races to date.  Thank you, Alicia, for inviting me!  

The hand off between me and Matt, 1st leg:

Our Studly Team right before our last leg:

The Glorious finish line:

The next adventure came in the first days of July, when I flew to New York to meet Kelsey (who had been living there for the summer) and to journey on with her to Ireland and England.  This was a dream trip that we started planning in April, and as I have never travelled without a tour group before, I was very nervous about how things would turn out.  Together, Kelsey and I studied travel books and talked with people who lived in the places we wanted to visit and then we put together an itinerary, booked rooms, rented a car, signed up for mini tours, booked our flights and away we went.  The one thing I was the most scared and nervous about? Driving on the left hand side of the road.  Seriously, I woke up in a panic a few times.  But once we got into the car, turned on the navigation system and made a few practice passes around the parking lot, I was good to go and it turned out to be a piece of cake.  Also, a great way to travel, since we were in control of where and when we travelled.

Our first morning in Dublin:

On the island of Inish Mor:

Overlooking the Cliffs of Moher:

The London Eye:

Stone Henge:

Kinsale, Ireland:

After 2 1/2 weeks of international travel, I came back home to reality of the fact that I had to finish planning and preparing for Markelle and Tahir's wedding.  I had a week at home before we left for a family trip to Laguna Beach, Ca (where Markelle and Tahir were going to be married on the beach) and then we would have a week after we got home to put the finishing touches on the details for the reception.  We went to Laguna with Steve's family to celebrate his parent's 50th anniversary, so we had the Whole Mordue Clan and we made some wonderful memories with all of them. The trip to California was bitter sweet for us because our sweet Ashley and studly Covey were not able to come with us.  We missed having our whole family together, they are both such vital and important people in our family, but we absolutely loved have Adam with us.  He is wonderful and fun and a great addition to the guys in our group! After a week of playing in the water and sand, the crowning event of our extended family vacation was the wedding. 

Markelle and Tahir getting ready to say "I Do":

Our little group:

Our happy family, sans Ashley and Covey:

After getting home from Laguna, we celebrated this cute girls 16th birthday!~

Whew, now the kids are back in school, the feeling of fall is in the air, and Markelle is already planning and preparing for the annual Mordue Halloween Party.  Good-bye Summer, you went by way too fast!

Bright Spots of Sunlight

Although it is 100 degrees outside, I am feeling like this is an all weather day.  One that starts out with all the promise of a bright and glorious day, only to have the dark clouds move in and unleash it's violent storm, followed by the aftermath of calm and sunshine slicing through the dark to help illuminate our path once again. This is a great description of a day in my life.  I won't say that it is a horrible day, because it's not, nor a sad day, because it's not.  It just had some very sad, disappointing moments.  I am grateful to a good friend that felt it important enough to come have a good laugh and therapy session with me over a sandwich. I'm grateful for daughters that either emphasized with me, or created distractions.  I am grateful for an incredible husband who hurts along with me and is my committed partner. What would we do without  human connections discussing the human condition? I am grateful of the crazy antics of my dogs, who will curl up next to me and let me cuddle with them.  I try to look for the tiny miracles that happen in each of our lives everyday, and today those miracles took the form of many listening hearts, whether it be man or beast, and helped me to see the bright spots of sunshine bursting it's way through darkened skies. This may indeed be the miracle that I've been praying for, just not the one that I've been envisioning.

Get Spanked!

Ashley got her first job, and she starts today!  She is working with a great bunch of people at a Bountiful hotspot:  Spanky's.

I'm so proud of Ashley and the incredible things that she has done this past year.  It takes a lot of courage, determination, patience, diligence, humility, gratitude, trust, and love to do the self improving and  self healing work she has done since April  2012.

Congratulations, baby girl! (make sure you give me the biggest cookie when I come through your line!)

An Unexpected Journey

In March, Markelle, Tahir, Jesse, and I took a little jaunt down to Southern Utah for fun in the sun, good food, and togetherness.  For Markelle, this was her first time down since we bought the our St. George home.  I try to go any chance I get, which has not been often enough this past year.  We went down on Easter weekend, and then I stayed on until the following Sunday.  One of our adventures involved a trip over to Zion's National Park.  I love to go there, and I think Markelle was excited to do some hiking and running.  We grabbed water, oranges, protein bars, and Jesse and headed out.  Once in the park, we quickly jumped onto the back end of a shuttle bus as it was pulling out to make it's trek to the top of the canyon.  We enjoyed the running commentary of the bus driver about the spectacular scenery before us. When we reached the farthest destination, The Temple of Sinawava, we deboarded and started our hike/run up the trail towards the starting point on the Narrows.  All three of us felt healthy, strong, and powerful and we flew up the trail, dodging other hikers and baby strollers.  Jesse was in full form, too, and had a very purposeful gait as she ran point ahead of us.  After taking in the beauties of this trail, we headed back down towards the shuttle pick up so that we could proceed to the next stop.  Our plan was to get off at each stop on the shuttles' journey down the canyon, and to hike as many of the different trails that we could fit in that afternoon.  We got on and off at Weeping Rock and The Grotto with no problem, but it was at the Zions Lodge stop that we noticed the "no dogs allowed" sign on the shuttle.  How had we missed that before?  Well, Jesse is so small that I just picked her up and got on the back end of the shuttle so the driver wouldn't see her, but as the bus began to fill to capacity and beyond, I told Markelle and Tahir that I had to get off--the pressing bodies was causing both Jesse and me to be a little stifled.  I didn't think that we were too far from the park entrance so it did not seem to be an unreasonable distance to run back.  Markelle and Tahir were good sports and jumped of the bus with me and we began the canyon run.  We ran, and ran, and ran.   We flew down that canyon.  It felt so good, and we all felt like super humans.  We saw a lot of the canyon up close and personal and this became a fun ending to a spectacular day at Zion National Park.

27 years strong

Yes, he's wearing a halo. 

In an anniversary card that Steve gave me this year, he wrote, "I don't often make big and grand plans. I may be a little too easy going and laid back. But I do love you intensely and fiercely!  I just love to be near you, with you and enjoy each other, our life together and our marriage.  I love to hold hands, I love to snuggle , and I love to just talk with you about anything and nothing."

And then we drove into Salt Lake City, where we spent the weekend doing just that:  holding hands, snuggling, and talking about everything and nothing.  I really love that guy too, intensely and fiercely!

Collecting Passport Stamps

Just a few shots of Steve and Ashley on their latest travelling adventure.  They both have the travel bug....

China 2013

"I am good"

Our family, in particular Ashley, hit a milestone this week.  April 18, 2013 represents one year of sobriety for her.  I can hardly believe that it's been a year since "the dreadful day" and in reality it has become the first day of a very hard and difficult journey that has personally taught me how to honestly and truly love.  I have had a peep into the immense love that our Father in Heaven and Savior, Jesus Christ has for each and everyone of us.  We are all connected, and a huge key to our success here upon this earth is to reach out and make those connections with all those around us.  Be more kind, more understanding.  I believe that everyone has good in them.  As I listened with a heavy heart to the reports coming out of Boston this past week, with the bombings at the marathon finish line and it's aftermath, I have grieved with the rest of the world.  But then I focused on the incredible actions of love that immediately followed: strangers helping strangers, sharing what skills/abilities they had with others.  Sharing a blanket, a kind word, a helping hand.  We all have good in us. 

I was recently called to be a Primary teacher in our ward.  We have two sets of teachers for this class, which means I only get to teach about once a month, but I still want to make a solid connection with these children.  They are 6/7 years old, and such darling little kids.  Since I do not know the children in our ward very well, I wanted to visit each child in my class to introduce myself, and to learn about them.  At each visit, I asked them, "What is one thing that you want ME to know about YOU."  I heard things such as, "I like to dance," "I like to draw pictures of Jesus," "I like to build things with legos," but one of the little boys told me, "I am good."  I told him that I loved the fact that he knew he was good. The more I think about and pray for these children, the more I love them.  They are our future, and they are already so spiritually strong. I want them to leave my class every Sunday with words of love ringing in their ears.  Their Heavenly Father loves them.  Jesus loves them.  Their Primary teacher, Sister Mordue loves them.  I hope and pray that they will stay in touch with their 7 year old innocence, especially through the dark and difficult times ahead....jr. high school!

Israel 2013

In February, Steve and I took Ashley to Israel and toured the country with a good friend of ours, Alan McKay.  We went with him the last time we travelled to Israel, and knew that he would be a great guide to go with us again.  He took a special interest in Ashley, and personalized a lot of his commentary with her in mind, which we were so grateful for.  She was the youngest in our group, and so many of the couples took her under their wing and treated her like a beloved grand daughter.  It was such a wonderful and positive experience for her, and the spirit and incredible history of this country touched her heart.

Ceaserea:

The Key Stone Arch

Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil:

Ashley by the shores of Galilee:

We all loved Capernaum:

Temple Mount in Jerusalem:

The Garden of Gethsemane: 

"the Savior did not shrink in Gethsemane or Golgotha'"

Our wonderful Israeli Guide Asher (on the right) and driver, Mahneer (on the left):

They both kept an eagle eye out for Ashley, and she was Asher's 2nd in command.  Mahneer admonished Ashley to study hard and get good grades so that she could come to the Number One 

University in Jerusalem (the Jerusalem Center)

The Dead Sea:

We left Steve at this point in the trip and he continued on to Egypt, where he had a fabulous time.  He was in heaven, helping out all of the older couples in the group with their luggage, etc. We all came home happy.