A few weeks ago my good friend, Maria C., agreed to meet me for lunch to talk about my options for going back to school.
"I want to do something meaningful with the extra hours I find I have in the middle of most days," I bemoaned to her, "but I don't know what that something meaningful is."
We talked about courses of study I would be interested in pursuing (English Lit? Humanities? History?) and what the various schools offered (BYU, UofU, Weber), what kind of classes it would involve, and the time commitment. We had a wonderful visit, and she gave me a lot to think about. But when all was said and done, I came to the realization that I am not yet ready to put my whole heart, mind, and soul with it's accompanying singular focus on school when I have daughters who still need me to be their mommy. When I go back to school, or spend my time pursuing something, I want to SAVOR the experience (Maria's perfectly descriptive word). What I am doing right now--being a mom and wife and daughter and friend--are the things I want to "savor."
Soon after this lunch meeting, I went to St. George with Madi for a few days and spent some precious time with her before the rest of the family came down to join us. Although it was a rainy weekend, which curtailed some of our planned activities, it was still heaven to "laze" around with Steve, Ashley, Madi, Kelsey and Covey. We watched "I Love Lucy" episodes, basketball, movies, ate good food, did an "Insanity" workout and logged in some great running miles. We attended a local ward on Sunday, and the family that spoke had the assignment of talking about Family Home Evening. The mother of the family told us that in preparation for her talk, the following three words kept coming to her mind: Stronger Than Ever. Those words, along with the rest of her talk, struck a chord in my heart of the very thing I had been struggling with (what to do with my extra time) and helped me to see very clearly that my extra time is sacred time to be dedicated to my family: my husband and my four girls/their current and future spouses, my parents, my in-laws, my extended family, my ward family, my world family...in that order.
A day after getting home from St. George, Markelle called up very sick and needing some mommy love time. I had the luxury of a free day to take her to the doctor, get her Rx filled, take her to lunch, help her order glasses, and even try on clothes together at the mall (while waiting for the lenses to be made). This was such a gift to both Markelle and myself, to have this quality one on one time to be together, with all of the grief and pain behind us, and a chance to be our true selves with each other.
The final icing on the cake, the personal message from Heavenly Father to let me know that I am on the right track with my relationship with my family, and that I AM doing something fulfilling with my time, was this little book that Maria gave me for my birthday:
On the back cover it reads: "Coming home to ourselves, we are able to offer our children the one thing they need more than anything else: our own quiet presence. And we receive something priceless in return--the chance to savor our lives and the precious people in them."
