As I was sitting in the Marriott Center last month, watching my oldest daughter receive a hard won college diploma, my friend (and my daughter's Mother in Love) leaned over to me and said, "You can check that off your list." Knowing her, all of her children will graduate from high school (check), serve a mission (check), go to college (check), graduate from college (check) and get married in the temple (check). As a teen-ager I believed in the lessons my Young Women Leaders taught. I had faith in the things I learned in church, and my belief system was well grounded and strengthened over the years. I grew up, I went to college, I got married in the Temple to a wonderful young man who served a mission. We started a family and were blessed with four beautiful daughters. I was living the dream, and the lessons of my teen years were unfolding before my eyes. As a family, we prayed and played together. As a mother, I encouraged and supported each daughter in whatever pursuit they chose: dance, ice skating, acting, swimming, soccor, horseback riding, painting, tennis, running, cheer leading, tumbling, singing, violin, piano, flute. Different daughters at different times took these different lessons. Some stuck with it, others tried for a time and moved on. Meanwhile, I was checking off my list: learn to read (check), times tables mastered (check), Baptism (check), Faith in God (check), Prom (check), Young Women Recognition (check), Patriarchal Blessing (check), High School graduation (check), married in the Temple (check), graduate from college (check). But while I was checking off the list with the first child, it began to be clear that there was a very strong possibility that not all of my daughters would follow MY checklist. Many tears were shed, and feelings of failure were faced before I realized that I was trying to create mini-me's. I am ME. Each of my daughters are individuals who are choosing their OWN path, some which are very different than mine. I look at the dangers and heartache that are a part of their journey and wonder why they would ever choose that way, but never-the-less they have and now, as their mother, the only thing I can do is LOVE them, encourage and support them where I am allowed and give counsel when needed. Of course, the hugs are always in abundance and freely given.
